Dad excludes 20-year-old son from wedding photo with his 2nd wife, her children, and his 18 and 16-year-old children: 'Let’s just do the core family first'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 4, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

He's not winning Father of the Year

Treating one child better or worse than another is unjustifiable in 99% of cases. I'm not talking about garden-variety variations, where parents are slightly closer to one child because of common interests, but don't give that child unearned privileges just because they like baseball. I'm talking about purposefully excluding a child out of spite and refusing to repair the rocky relationship. 

It's common for kids and parents to go through stages where they're more or less emotionally close to one another. Still, it's the parents' responsibility to try to make it so their kids at least feel comfortable approaching them when they're in distress or need support. There's a big difference between a teenager self-isolating because they're at the age where they don't want to tell their mom everything, and a young adult never telling their parents anything because they can't trust them, as they have shown time and time again that they don't care to give emotional support. 

Parents should want to include their kids in big moments in their lives, and if they don't, that's a major red flag.

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  • The dad in this story is a major red flag. He doesn't want his son to be in his wedding picture with his wife, her children, and his son's two teenage siblings because, according to this dad, his son is not part of the “core family.” Unsurprisingly, his in-laws are judging him for this choice.

  • Hispanic bride and groom during wedding ceremony
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for walking out of my dad’s wedding after he excluded me from the family photos?

    My dad (52M) remarried last weekend. I (20M) went to support him even though our relationship has always been rocky since the divorce. At the reception, they did family photos. Dad's new wife called up her kids (all adults), my dad, and my siblings (16F, 18M). When I tried to step in, my dad said, "Not right now, let's just do the core family first."
    via u/Ok-Aardvark2373
  • Everyone went quiet because... | am his kid. It felt like a slap in the face. I excused myself, grabbed my bag, and left. Later, he texted me that I “ruined his big day" and embarrassed him in front of his in-laws.
    via u/Ok-Aardvark2373
  • A man and woman toasting with a glass of wine
    via Natalia Blauth (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I don't know if I should've swallowed my pride and stayed, but I couldn't handle being literally excluded from the family picture. AITAH?
    via u/Ok-Aardvark2373
  • Man in gray suit jacket
    via Александр Филин

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AdResponsible 7001 Send a message ... "no, YOU ruined your big day, congrats, everyone knows what you are now, bye" and block.
    via u/AdResponsible7001
  • NotBuilt2Behave I agree, point it out to him, it'll eat at him. It's like a little revenge, and then be done don't waste energy.
    via u/NotBuilt2Behave
  • midnightsunofabitch Does this guy think that if OP had stayed there, he would have looked any less pathetic to his in-laws? He literally told his son to stay out of the picture because he's not a part of the "core family." Nobody is going to respect someone who would treat their own child that way, especially without provocation.
    via u/midnightsunofabitch
  • Hairy-Driver5297 NTA. He showed you in real time where you rank in his "new" family. You didn't ruin his wedding, he ruined your trust. Walking out was protecting your dignity. He should be embarrassed about his actions, not yours.
    via u/Hairy-Driver5297
  • NPDerm83 This! He is mad that everyone seen him as the person he is. He is embarrassed because he got backlash from guests calling him out for it. You deserve better.
    via u/NPDerm83
  • emkemkem "Why would my absence ruin your wedding since I'm just a distant relative instead of a member of your core family?" Everyone went silent after what he said. Not after you left.
    via u/emkemkem
  • different-take4u NTA, at all. For me, the only words he would be hearing from me would be, "not core family" for a very very long time. Each occasion he would be reminded of what he said to me by me repeating it. I might even get a shirt printed that says "not core family" take some pics and post them to his social media as well as wear it at family functions. When the time is right definitely tell him that when he needs family, not to look to you because you "are not core family" so . . . . may
    via u/different-take4u
  • SmoSays NTA and I can see why your relationship is rocky if that's how he treats you.
    via u/SmoSays

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family drama wedding drama crazy things parents say siblings wife bad parents husband wedding dad family son parents children Father wedding photos exclusive
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